When God Makes Me Laugh...

I know there are times that I must make God laugh, but there are times when God makes me laugh too, and this is one of them.

Since making the decision that I'm going to sponsor a new African child, I've been so eager to just jump in and do it, but God has not yet provided clear direction on which child He has chosen especially for me. Waiting is so hard for me!!! And yet I wait... but not patiently, I must admit.

First, there was Moses. An adorable 6 year old in overalls -- I am overly fond of children in overalls, I just think they are so adorable -- and I definitely knew Moses was the child for me. Of course, I hadn't yet asked God His opinion on the matter, so I set forth to do that very thing. I asked Him specifically to show me whether or not I should sponsor Moses, and then I proceeded with my Bible study for the day. Not a word in there to answer my question. I was startled. He always answers one way or the other, but not to even mention it?? I headed back to the Compassion site to look at Moses once more... and Moses was gone. Out of the subset of children I had searched under, Moses was the only one that someone else had in that hour I was gone decided to sponsor... Okay, God, so that was a definite no on Moses.

I wait. A couple of days pass with no clear direction, I've studied the profiles of the children in the subset multiple times and none seems to jump out at me, and then one day two new children are added. One was named Polycarp. Polycarp!! Who trained under the disciple John and then led the church at Smyrna!? Yes, yes, this little Polycarp must be the child for me!! But of course I have to pray about it first. Again no clear answer at all. Frustrating. I went back that evening to have another look, and what do you know, Polycarp was gone. None of those other children on the list, just Polycarp. Sigh. Another no.

And then another child drew my attention. Adam. Yes, Adam could be the right child for me, couldn't he? And boom, five minutes later, Adam is gone. I'm not kidding!!

Next my attentions were drawn to a child named Timothy. I had seen him several times and not thought he was the one, but now I was beginning to wonder. I was already composing letters to him in my head -- To Timothy, my true son in the faith... :o) So last night, I sit down to ask about Timothy, and this time I specifically said, PLEASE don't just NOT answer my question this time. Whether it's yes or no or whatever the answer is, PLEASE ANSWER!!!! And He did. I proceed to my Scripture reading to see His answer emblazoned on the page before me: "wait for the promise of the Father..." and "it is not for you to know the time or the season..."

I noticed this morning that Timothy -- and only Timothy -- is missing from the subset of children.

And I just had to laugh.

:o)

And so I continue to wait....

Africa

My heart has become burdened for Africa lately. I can't explain why. I've never thought much about Africa before, I'll admit. I remember the images of little starving Ethiopian children on the tv screen constantly when I was a little girl, and of course we've all probably heard at some point during our childhood when refusing to eat something we didn't like about the poor little starving children in Africa who would love to have that to eat. But other than a casual "hmm, those poor kids in Africa" thought here and there, I never really thought much more about it.

I blogged about Compassion International a year ago, and introduced you to my three sponsored children, Staurin, Angie, and Marsabi. (You can read that post here.) It wasn't intentional that they're all from Central and South America, but it's not really surprising either. After all, those countries somehow seem a much closer need... it's on our land mass, after all, and I've heard so many missionary stories from places like Haiti, Costa Rica, etc., and my own sister-in-law is from Argentina. Having three sponsored children in Colombia, the Dominican Republic, and Mexico just brings Central and South American poverty to the forefront of my mind.

However, just in the last few weeks, Africa has weighed heavily on my mind. I'm sure that is in great part due to Life Today, an amazing ministry that I've only recently discovered. I'm very impressed with the integrity I see in this ministry and have begun supporting their efforts in mission feeding and drilling water wells. Since I've been watching a lot of their programming, the images of starving little children and their grieving parents, and of the nasty sewage-filled water these families drink from, have really been burned into my mind.

And now, the bloggers, including one of my favorites, BooMama, are going to Uganda with Compassion, to blog about what that ministry is doing in that country. I'm really excited about this. I'm always so eager to see what's going on for myself, to watch the changes that are made in children's lives, to hear their stories. I'm hoping for LOTS of details from these bloggers!!

I received a DVD in the mail from Compassion the other day, full of short features. I watched most of them, but the one that really left the most impact on me was Michael W. Smith's visit to the Kibera slum in Kenya. I was appalled at the living conditions of these people; I've seen poverty and really wretched living conditions many times before, but never have I seen anything this bad. My heart was suddenly burdened for Kibera and I decided it was time to sponsor another child, this time from Africa. I've been searching through the photos and praying regarding the particular child God has chosen for me to sponsor this time, but so far, I don't believe the child is there. I waited and prayed six months for Marsabi before God showed me that she was the one, so I hope I don't have to wait THAT long this time! :o)

I think this child is a boy, around 7-10 years of age. I can't explain that, it's just what I feel like God is telling me. I am really looking forward to "meeting" him, and watching God perform a miracle in his life. I am wondering if the blogger's Uganda reports will lead me to my sponsored child there, or if he is in Kenya, perhaps even in Kibera itself, or perhaps a different African country. I'll keep you posted when I find him.

In the meantime, I encourage you to check out this awesome ministry for yourself -- where else do you have the opportunity to make such a vast impact and investment in an impoverished child's life, and actually get to see the results over the years? It's a blessing I know you won't want to miss.

God's Protection

Just before Christmas, I heard a blurb on the radio that caused me to really reflect on a concept I've had a lot of questions about over the years. I have no idea the point intended by the speaker, but the comment was made that young Jesus was in a very dangerous position, due to Herod's wanting to kill him and being such a wicked man that he would stoop to any evil to accomplish his purpose, i.e., killing all the baby boys under age 2...

This is of course a very familiar story and I've always known Herod was out to kill Jesus, but I saw it in a different light this time around. I know that God has a plan for my life, and I know that He is able to protect me from harm. Where things get fuzzy for me is to what level does God CHOOSE to protect -- after all, He has chosen to allow us free will. So if I pray for protection, but someone else chooses to harm me, will God intervene? CAN He intervene and still allow that other person free will?

Well, looking at this dangerous situation that Jesus Himself was in shed some light on that for me. Obviously, God's plan for Jesus did not include being killed by Herod in His toddlerhood... so that means that Mary and Joseph had nothing to worry about, right? Jesus wasn't truly in any danger because God would protect Him then in order to keep Him alive until the time had come for Him to die. Hmm... but is that really true?

Reflecting on how God chose to protect Jesus from Herod, I gained new insight into how God protects us from harm. God could have simply prevented Herod from killing Jesus through miraculous means -- but to do so would have denied Herod free will. Herod had the choice whether to kill Jesus or not, and God knew what that choice was going to be. Well, that's okay, God can just do a miracle and make Jesus invisible to Herod to protect Him, right? He could... but that's not what He did either.

God told the wisemen to take a different route home, rather than report back to Herod. They listened and obeyed. God told Joseph to take Jesus to Egypt so Herod would not find Him. Joseph listened and obeyed. I've often heard it said that perhaps the gifts from the wisemen supplied the money Joseph and Mary would need for their journey. If this is the case, God provided both the means and the directions to protect His Son from harm. He did not use His omnipotence to perform some amazing miracle -- He used people who would listen and obey.

Why were the wisemen able to hear God's direction? These men had obviously studied God's Word in depth, and trusted God, or they wouldn't have been looking for the star, understanding its meaning, and following it... What about Joseph? We know he heard God speak before, when told that Jesus was indeed God's Son and he should not divorce Mary. We aren't specifically told, but it certainly appears that Joseph too had developed a relationship with God that caused God to choose him to raise His Son in the first place, and enabled Him to hear God's voice and obey without question.

So that brings me to us... if I pray for protection from harm, should I then expect God to act any differently? Should I expect him to make me magically invisible from someone who might prey upon me, or to prevent others from doing things that would negatively affect me? Sure, He CAN do these things... but looking at the example of how He chose to protect His own Son, shouldn't we expect that He will most likely choose the same way of protecting us? Rather than preventing anyone else from sinning against us, or performing some miracle to hide or protect us, it seems from this example that God is most likely to answer our prayers for protection by giving us instructions which will take us or our loved ones out of harm's way if we will listen and obey, as Joseph and the wisemen did.

But like Joseph and the wisemen, we need to be attuned to God's voice. We can't expect to go along our merry way and ignore God except when we need to ask Him for something, and then shoot up a prayer for protection when we get into a dangerous situation and then expect to be able to hear and recognize God's voice directing us on how to get out of it. Only through developing an intimate relationship, speaking to God throughout the day, poring over His Word to hear what He has to say, can we learn to recognize the voice of God, and have faith enough to obey it even when the instructions may seem unusual.

The Lord's Supper

When I was a little girl, legalism was pervasive in many churches, and ours was no different. So as a teenager, and then a young adult, sifting through all the things that "I've always been taught" and comparing them with Scripture to determine what is truly Scriptural and what is just legalism has been quite an undertaking.

On Christmas Eve, we always go to a candlelight service at church, and part of that service includes partaking of Communion, or the Lord's Supper. Now Little Girl has never lasted through an entire Christmas Eve service without having to be taken out for poor behavior. When I was her age, we sat out in church every week from the time we exited the nursery at age 3, but with the advent of Kids' Church, sitting out in "big church" just isn't something Little Girl has much practice doing.

Well, she's 5 now and I hoped that this would be the year she'd actually be able to sit quietly through the service. I commented about this to my sister, who is the one who hasn't gotten to sit through the Christmas Eve service for five years... and she said, "Well I'm going to be up with the choir this year, so she'll be your problem to deal with!" Then she added, "And there's Communion too, so good luck!" Meaning, of course, that to pass around a cracker and a grape juice for everyone and for her not to get to have one was quite likely to bring on a tantrum...

Now this was one of those things that "we were always taught", that children were not permitted to partake of the Lord's Supper until they had been saved and baptized. I remember clearly right after my own salvation when I was nearly 6, the excitement that NOW I would get to take Communion!

Now, the Lord's Supper is pretty serious business, and as an adult, I understand a lot more about just how important it is to be sure your heart is right when participating in this ordinance. However, it occurred to me this year after my sister's comment that as far as children not partaking -- well, that isn't Scriptural. Nowhere does it say children should not be permitted to participate until they have accepted Christ... so I began thinking more on this subject.

Jesus and his disciples were celebrating Passover, and it is one small part of the Seder meal that Jesus then establishes as something we are to do in remembrance of Him. So the Lord's Supper has its roots in the Passover meal, and children always participated in the Passover celebration. In fact, the Passover meal is used to teach children about the wonderful things God did for His people. Should not then the Lord's Supper be used for the same purpose? Shouldn't young children be allowed to participate, and the experience be used to teach them what Jesus has done for them?

The more I thought about it, the more certain I became that Little Girl should indeed participate -- but not merely to avoid her throwing a tantrum and to give her a cracker and grape juice, but to teach her the significance of what we are doing. And after all, this is a little girl who loves Jesus, despite not having made an official "salvation decision" due to her young age. So after discussing my thoughts with her mother, that's exactly what we did.

Christmas Eve afternoon, I sat down with Little Girl and her Beginners Bible, and started to read, from the birth of Baby Jesus right up through his life, and then the story about the Last Supper. As I read, I talked to her about how we were going to do this at church, and how it was a very special thing that she was going to get to do to remember Jesus. We read on about his death and resurrection, and talked about how the broken bread/cracker reminds us of Jesus' body being broken on the cross, and how the grape juice (wine) represents His blood. "But it's not REALLY blood, it's just grape juice," Little Girl said. :)

And so we went to church, and the Christmas Eve service began. I came armed with crayons and paper in the hopes that this would keep Little Girl quiet, and with no suggestion of what to draw, she promptly drew these two pictures.


When it came time to take Communion, I whispered reminders and questions to her as we proceeded through it to make sure she remembered the significance, and she certainly did. After it was over -- well, after declaring, "YUM! I want more!" -- she got another sheet of paper and drew this picture:



She then whispered to me that that was me, her, and Jesus in the picture having Communion together.

I have a feeling she partook of Communion with more understanding and a righter heart than did some of those saved and baptized adults present...

It was a beautiful thing, to teach and to watch and to realize she really gets it.

My mom said afterward that when my cousin was little, she cried in church once because her parents wouldn't let her take Communion, and my grandfather was furious about it. He told them Jesus would rebuke them like He did the disciples, and say to let the little children come to me. What a wise man he was.

Little Girl was his greatest joy in his last years of life. After hearing that story from my mother, I can just imagine him looking down from heaven at Little Girl observing her first communion, and smiling proudly at us all. :)

Merry Christmas

I have had so many things I've wanted to blog about, and just never have the time!! I'll try to get them all out in the next few days, so this blog may actually have some activity for awhile.

For starters, Merry Christmas! It was a nice one here, Little Girl got some really nice gifts (meaning, instead of a bunch of junky toys, she got some nice things she'll really get a lot of use out of) and Baby Boy had so much fun opening gifts and dancing to the Christmas music. Her favorite (and mine!) were her "Little House" Lincoln Logs, as she calls them... now she can build a log cabin and have a wagon and horses and Ma and Pa to go with them -- but she wants a Mary and Laura too, and I've no idea where we'll find figures so small to play the part... but we shall try.

My favorite gift for myself was a copy of These Happy Golden Years. Not just any copy, mind you, but a Sewell-illustrated edition -- meaning pre-1953. Oh, but not just a Sewell, I have several of those after all, nice but not that big of a deal. But an AUTOGRAPHED copy. Yes indeed, my brother who has complained for years about how everything has to be about Laura went out looking for an autographed copy of one of her books. Now how's THAT for a merry Christmas? :)

Merry Christmas, one and all...

Happy Thanksgiving

Wow, what a busy weekend. It was nice to have four days off, but I think I was busier those four days than I am during a regular work week! But it was a great kind of busy.

Thursday I drove down to the town where my family all lives, and we met at my sister's for Thanksgiving dinner. (This means the noon meal. Apparently some people think it means the evening meal.) We ate a ton and enjoyed the splendid entertainment provided by Little Girl and Baby Boy. My grandmother came too, so we had four generations present, something to be thankful for in and of itself.

I stayed the entire day, enjoying Little Girl's company, and then went back to my parents' to spend the night.

Friday, I did what I thought was a crazy thing. However, I underestimated the insanity of the human race.

I can vaguely remember going to the mall one year for Black Friday when I was a kid. We were poor, and spending money for us was almost nil, but we had a couple of dollars saved up to do our own Christmas shopping, and we were pretty good at figuring out ways to make that money go as far as possible. But wow, the mall was like a gold mine that day! Every time you entered Lazarus (a department store), you received a scratch-off ticket and could win a prize. We were no dummies. We entered from each different door in the store so we wouldn't be recognized, and got several tickets. We came home with cups, various trinkets, and we each managed to get a big stuffed white "Lazzie Bear" -- for nothing! Sears had their own scratch-off tickets too... for money off a purchase, rather than for prizes. I read the fine print and figured out the the money off did not require a minimum purchase price... mostly we just got "$2 off any purchase" tickets, but I also found a little bin near the toy department of little stuffed Pooh characters for $1.99 each. By the time we had each entered every single door at Sears, we each had the whole collection -- again, for free. So without spending a cent, we made out like bandits and came home with our arms full of toys! So I have fond memories of my one and only Black Friday experience.

As an adult, I avoid crowds like the plague, and have therefore shunned Black Friday shopping. Actually, I take that back... I did go shopping on one other Black Friday. Nine years ago, I flew to Chicago to spend Thanksgiving weekend with a friend, and we went to downtown Chicago on Black Friday. Now that's crazy! :o) But I didn't do that with the intent of actually buying anything -- that was just for the experience and to say I'd done it! And therefore, we had a blast despite the crowds... that was all part of the fun.

But generally, as I said, I avoid crowds, and would rather pay a little bit more for things than to join the masses in the stores on Black Friday. But this particular year, I had three big ticket items on my shopping list: a laptop computer, a large television, and a nice digital camera. Knowing that prices are slashed ridiculously low on Black Friday, I decided it just might be worth it to get up in the middle of the night and fight the crowds to save several hundred dollars. So Thursday evening, I carefully studied the ads and chose Circuit City as my destination. I was very excited to see at the top of their ad that their Black Friday specials were available starting on Thanksgiving Day online, with no shipping charges!

"Who on earth would get up at dark o'clock on Friday morning and drive out in this freezing weather to fight thousands of people when they can sit in their nice warm home, hit a few buttons, and have the items delivered to their home?" I wondered aloud to my mother. "People must be crazy!" And with that, and a few clicks of the mouse, I found myself on Circuit City's website, where not a single one of the items I wished to purchase was available for online purchase. Hmmmm, sounds like false advertising to me -- hmph!

So back to Plan A. I got up at 4:30 Friday morning. The mall is approximately 12 minutes away from my parents' home, and Circuit City was scheduled to open at 5. No getting ready for me, I just threw on some clothes and left, as is. At 4:40, I reached the backup on the interstate -- two miles from the mall exit. But I wasn't worried yet -- after all, the mall has hundreds of stores. Why, most of these people aren't even going to Circuit City.

At 4:55 am, I arrived at Circuit City, circled the parking lot, and quickly discovered that not only were there no parking spots, but even every grassy spot and gravelly spot along the roadside was full of cars. I ended up parking across the street, on the opposite side of another parking lot, a good five minute hike away from the store. Did I mention it was snowing?

I wondered how on earth I was even going to get a television set to the car, but figured I'd worry about that later. After all, once I bought it, it was mine... surely the store would wait while I pulled the car around to the front to pick it up, right?

And then I came to the front of the store. The doors had opened and people were entering. Hundreds of people. All in a line twisting and turning all over the parking lot. At least people were all very courteous. Everyone stood patiently in line, there was no pushing and shoving or trying to skip line. I was pleased, for that was my biggest fear -- getting caught in a pushing crowd and getting hurt.

However, there was not a thing left in the store by the time I got there. The man in front of me in line commented that his wife drove by at 6 pm the night before and there were already people camping out in sleeping bags by the door. The two guys behind me said they came last year at 3 am and there were already 200 people in front of them then. I had to wonder, if they knew this, why did they bother to come at 5 am? Had I known that hundreds of people would be sitting out in the snow for hours before the store even opened, I would never have bothered to crawl out of my warm bed at 4:30 am and attempt this madness. Those people could have frozen to death!! And for what!? To save a couple hundred dollars!?!? INSANE.

At least I realized quickly that the entire venture was pointless, and I turned around and headed for home and bed. The others who didn't get anything were digging frantically through DVDs, filling their arms with them. I had read in the ad the night before that there was a limit of 3 per person, so I feel rather sorry for all these people who were going to stand in a 2 hour line to check out, only to be told that they have to put all but 3 of their DVDs back...

So my big question is, WHY? Why do people do this?? Now that I've experienced it one time, I know better than to go back. My solution isn't, "Oh, I'll go spend the night in a sleeping bag in the snow next year!", my solution is, "Oh, okay, that's pointless, I'll just pay regular price on a normal day and avoid the mess..." Why do other people go out and do this year after year? If you are one of those Black Friday shoppers, please tell me -- WHY??

So, I was home by 5:30 and plopped right back in bed and slept till 9. I then went back to my sister's and spent a fun-filled day with Little Girl. We ventured back out in the late afternoon to take her to Billy Bob's, where she showed off her Skeeball skills. She really was quite good for a five-year-old -- or else my sister and I are just REALLY bad. My sister scored 18,000; I scored 17,000; and Little Girl scored 14,000. After she picked out a couple of junky prizes and had some pizza, we went to my grandmother's house with the plans of letting Little Girl decorate her Christmas tree, but alas, my aunt had already come over that morning and done it.

Saturday, my sister had a rummage sale at church she was taking part in, so Little Girl and I headed to an area science museum, where we had a blast. She is so interested in how things work and in exploring things that she just soaks everything up like a sponge. Our local newsstation also has an area there at the museum where kids can practice being a news anchor and it looks like they're really on tv. I didn't think she'd get this at all, my sister doesn't even watch the news. But I told her to sit at the desk and pretend she was on the news, and off the cuff she spouted off this story about how Santa Claus had gotten stuck on Mistletoe Mountain and was now lost, and rescuers were on their way to find him and save Christmas! I don't know where she comes up with this stuff! It was VERY cute, however, and the rest of the family was quite impressed when they watched the video later. :o)

Saturday evening, Little Girl and I babysat Baby Boy while his parents went to a football game. Boy, is he ever a high-maintenance baby. Cute as can be, though! :o) He's a happy baby and a fun baby, don't get me wrong, but between being allergic to everything under the sun and taking 3 medications by mouth and one topical medication on his entire body, it's some work to take care of him!!

Baby Boy is walking everywhere now, and although he doesn't seem to be saying much yet, he's making a lot of sounds. He loves to listen to music and will tap his foot and clap his hands. His other favorite trick is waving. And he is SO cute when you feed him and he signs "more" between every bite. Little Girl loves him to death and is a wonderful babysitter, keeping him entertained and watching him carefully so he doesn't get hurt. She gives him lots of hugs and kisses too. :o)

Sunday the entire family went to church, as usual, and for dinner afterward. Then Baby Boy's parents went to a basketball game (they are entirely too sports-oriented!) and we got to babysit him again for the afternoon! We attempted to take Christmas pictures of the kids together, first in their Christmas finery, and then in their Christmasy pjs, but it was a lost cause. Little Girl would sit so nice and prim with a beautiful smile on her face, waiting ever so patiently while Baby Boy crawled around all over the place and would not sit still. We would finally get Baby Boy to sit in one place for two minutes and it would be at the exact moment that Little Girl had lost all her patience and was jumping around the room or rolling on the floor showing her underwear. NEVER could we get BOTH children to cooperate at the same time. Sigh... I wouldn't be a studio photographer for anything!!

Sunday evening, Little Girl starred as the Peach Pie in a play at church about Thanksgiving leftovers. She was adorably cute, of course.

So that was my Thanksgiving... full of food, fun, family, and KIDS! :o) Hope your Thanksgiving was wonderful!

A Hillbilly Wedding

My sister is married. Little Girl has a new stepfather.

I still recall the day my sister called me to update me on the status of her wedding. "Did you hear we've changed the date?" she asked.

"Again?" was my response.

Before I tell you the rest of this conversation, I must provide some history. My sister was planning to get married LAST October, in Gatlinburg. Why Gatlinburg? Fiance's sister was working there and couldn't get a single day off work, so they said. And his sister HAD to be there. So our ENTIRE family, as well as the rest of HIS entire family, all had to go to Gatlinburg for this wedding to accommodate ONE person.

Nobody was terribly happy about it, but no amount of complaining would change their minds. If they wanted to get married in Gatlinburg simply because THEY wanted to get married in Gatlinburg, then that would be one thing. But the only reason they were doing this was for his sister. Personally, I think she could have gotten ONE day off if it was that important that she attend. But that's beside the point.

So in the spring, my sister stressed the importance of everyone finding accommodations. "You need to hurry up and reserve something," she kept saying. "October is prime season in the Smoky Mountains... everything's going to be booked."

So we all made reservations. My aunts and uncles were all renting a big cabin and staying together. I booked a room in a bed and breakfast next door to the wedding chapel for us. Did I mention that these reservations had to be paid for immediately and were non-refundable unless they could be rebooked, and then a 15% rebooking fee was applied?

So not two weeks after everyone has made their nonrefundable reservations, my sister announces that they've changed their minds, and they're going to wait a year to get married. Now don't get me wrong -- I'm glad they decided to wait. Fiance wasn't sure he was ready to be a dad to Little Girl yet and wanted more time to adjust to the idea, and to give her time to adjust to the idea. I'm all for that. But couldn't they have decided this a couple of weeks sooner?

Despite the fact that fall is prime season in the Smokies and we had difficulty making reservations, strangely enough, nobody wanted to rebook our rooms/cabins. Hundreds of dollars going down the drain here; we were not pleased. So many members of my family decided, "We were looking forward to this big family outing down in the Smokies, and we've got these rooms anyway, so let's just go!" I gave my B&B room to my parents and did not attend this family reunion, but many aunts, uncles, and cousins did attend.

They rented a big van and some of them drove down together. Now for some character introduction here -- my grandparents had four children: Phillip (who married Mary), Pattie (mother of my "twin cousin" Amy), my mom, and Jo. On a shopping excursion in the big van were: Jo driving and my mom in the passenger seat; in the middle row were Pattie and Mary; and Amy sat in the back. Reread that and make sure you know who all these people are, because the relationships are important... Jo, Mom, and Pattie are sisters; Mary is married to their brother. All fine Christian people; salt of the earth. Important to know.

Now Jo is the talker of the family, and she had talked SO much during this family reunion weekend that she had lost her voice. She was pulling the van out of a parking garage, and the traffic on the street was very busy. She wanted to go left, and waited and waited and waited for a break in traffic. At last, she decided to put the van in park while she waited. As vehicles will sometimes do when shifting gears, the van jolted forward just slightly.

At this very same moment, a woman pushing a stroller happened to be walking in front of the van. When the van made its little jolt, she looked up angrily and began shouting. "Are you trying to HIT me?" she yelled, and then let forth a stream of profanities. This van full of good Christian women were a bit appalled, but the woman continued on and was soon forgotten.

At last, Jo decided they were never going to be able to turn left, so she decided to turn right. As they drove down the street, they saw the lady pushing her stroller along the sidewalk. Before anyone else in the van even realized what was happening, Jo swerved the van right up by the sidewalk, rolled down my mother's window, leaned across her and starting shaking her finger at the woman and shouting in her hoarse gravelly voice, "I wasn't trying to hit you!" Due to the vocal loss she was experiencing however, not a word she said could have been understood by the woman at the street; all she saw was this crazy woman shaking her finger at her and growling out something unintelligible.

Once more, the woman let loose a string of profanities. Instantly, Pattie leaned forward from behind Jo, also across my mother, and shot that woman the finger. Every woman in the van, herself included, was in absolute shock.

Amy gasped from the back seat and said, "MOM, put that back in its holster!" Pattie said in shock over and over, "I can't believe I just did that. I have never done that before in my life. I swear I have NEVER done anything like that before! I don't know what came over me!"

But the funniest part of the whole story was Mary, who sat stunned, shaking her head back and forth and saying, "Oh my... oh my... they're all JUST LIKE PHILLIP!"

Well, everyone had such a good time at that reunion, and such great laughs over the van incident, that Jo decided we need to do a family trip like that every year. And she planned everything out for us this year, a nice little country ranch a couple hours' drive away, for the weekend AFTER my sister's wedding. A wedding which was now going to be a nice normal wedding, at home, in our church, by our pastor.

Let us now resume the phone conversation with my sister.

"AGAIN?" asked I. "Yes," answered my sister. "We're going to have it at the family reunion."

Lengthy pause while I LAUGH my head off. I seriously did. I laughed, and I laughed, and I laughed. But she was serious. They were indeed getting married at the family reunion.

And so they did. A true hillbilly wedding if you ever saw one.

It was an interesting ranch. They had animals there. Exotic animals. I was awakened at 6 am by something growling outside the cabin. I thought it was a bear. No. Nothing so normal as a bear. It was an ostrich.

My uncle went out fishing at the pond. But the fish were all scared away by the lion that kept roaring at him. Now that's a great fish story if I ever heard one.

Goats and sheep roamed all over the place. The little girls had a wonderful time playing with them and naming them all. Nearly the whole family attended. We filled up three large cabins in all.

And this is where my sister got married. Outside the largest cabin. She wore a white "church" dress. Her fiance wore a suit. So did the pastor who drove in from her fiance's church. Little Girl wore a beautiful flower girl dress. And everyone else wore jeans and t-shirts. Because we like to dress up for a wedding, y'know.

His family drove in just for the wedding itself. I had wondered if they were going to attend our family reunion. That would have been just too weird. Some of the men of the family decided to go golfing instead of waiting around for the wedding. Because golfing is more important.

The ceremony lasted all of five minutes. My cousin was supposed to provide the music but he had a panic attack the night before and backed out. So the four little girls in the family did a beautiful job humming "Here Comes the Bride" while the bride walked down the... uh... hill. Nobody thought to bring any rice, so the little girls picked up gravels out of the road and tossed them. Hey, we have to do things up right, after all! We quickly sent the bride and groom away. "Do you all want to come and have lunch with us? We're going to this nice little cafe in town. It will be like a reception."

"Um, no..." we all made excuses. "You see, there's this motorboat ride down the river and if we hurry, we can get there before the last boat leaves..." And off we all rushed to our cars, leaving the bride and groom to dine with HIS family while we went on a boat ride. :)

We're going to have our family reunion there every fall. To celebrate their anniversary. Won't they love that? :) That's what they get for choosing to be married at the family reunion!

Happy Birthday to Me :)

I recently had a birthday, and after seeing Amanda's list for her birthday and thinking it a great idea, I've decided to put together my own.

1. I can't say as I remember my first birthday. :) From the ancient 8mm video we have, however, I know it was a fun time filled with family on both sides. So many of those people are gone now, but what fun my first birthday in heaven will be, having them all back again. :)

2. This was a fun year, and my first memories start to take form. I moved from a house next door to my great-aunt who adored me to a house next door to my grandparents who adored me. Lucky me. :)

3. Starting to remember more. I can remember starting Sunday School, and on my very first day, learning the song "His Banner Over Me is Love."

4. For my fourth birthday, I got an early birthday present -- a baby brother. Now he has his very own Baby Boy! How time flies! I started reading at 4 and have never stopped...

5. I started kindergarten this year. How excited I was to show my teacher, Mrs. Roberts, my new Wonder Woman Underoos. LOL. Took her to the bathroom to show her privately -- at least I had SOME modesty! :) I became a Christian at age 5, so this was a great year. :)

6. Another early birthday present -- this time, the baby sister I had been praying for since before God gave me the brother... I regretted that prayer many times growing up (whenever she did something particularly annoying, and my mother always said, "Remember, you PRAYED for her and now you've got her!") But I can't regret it now, for she is Little Girl's mommy! Again, how time flies!

7. 2nd grade. Busy with school and church and AWANA and play... just having good old-fashioned kid fun!

8. My mother chopped off my knee-length hair. I hated it. How I cried! How many times during my childhood I heard her tell me, "When you're older, you can have it how you want it. But then you'll want it short!" She was wrong. I've NEVER worn it that short again. And probably never will.

9. The last of my growing-up years spent almost entirely with my "twin cousin" (we were five months apart). My grandmother wrote a poem about us that year that defines our childhood together:

Two little girls, they'll win your heart;
Always together, never apart.
Making plans every day,
What to do and what to say.
Writing plays and singing songs,
Growing up, it won't be long.
One is eight, the other nine years,
Going to school, learning cheers.
It seems they're never ever done
Always having so much fun.
They're first cousins and also friends,
I'm sure they will be to the end.
I wish you knew them as I do,
For then I know you'd love them too.

10. My first Cabbage Patch Kid (of many!) Remember the hideous names they came with? Norene Madelle was this poor Kid's name; I promptly renamed her April LeeAnne. I dearly love her to this day! I played with dolls a little longer than many girls do (until about 12), and definitely a lot longer than girls do today, but as my Pappaw always said, "Better dolls than boys!"

11. 6th grade -- I had my favorite teacher of all time, Mr. Reed. His idea of a field trip was taking the class to his house. We girls spent the morning with his wife learning to cook and sew and take care of their little boys, while the boys worked with him in his wood shop and played football. "That's awfully sexist!" remark many... but we LOVED IT!!!

12. A weird year for me. I was homeschooled at school... our jr high closed down (Christian school) so my mother ordered a homeschooling curriculum, Mr. Reed supervised it, she administered the tests, and I was essentially on my own most of the day. It was an awesome year. I substituted for absent teachers, I sorted the teachers' mail, met the pizza and Wendy's guys at the door and passed out the lunches to everyone (our idea of a hot lunch program! :) ), watched the daycare kids during nap to give the teacher a break, and took care of my 3 year old cousin so my aunt could study, as she was taking college classes.

13. A bad year. Jr. high reopened, but instead of the kids I grew up with returning to the school, it was a bunch of "bad kids" who were in trouble or flunking out of public schools, and their parents decided they'd send them to that Christian school to straighten them out. Uh, well when every kid is a "bad kid", they don't get straightened out... and it was a miserable year for me!

14. Continuation of bad bad bad. I'd like to erase these two years from my life.

15. I went to public school and was shocked to learn that there were NICE KIDS in the world!! Really there were!! Who knew?

16. Ahhh, the freedom to drive!! Well, not for me. I got my learner's permit a time or two but never really got to learn to drive. Even took driver's ed, and my partner was always absent when it was our turn to go out in the car and I hardly ever got to drive there!! So no license for me...

17. My senior year! I joined the band -- good move on my part. Made school a lot more fun, and expanded my network of friends quite a bit. Still couldn't drive, but who needs to drive when all your friends can?

18. Freshman year of college... I lived at home, so didn't have the whole college experience people talk about, it was really a lot like a continuation of high school with a bit more freedom.

19. Finally got that driver's license!

20. A shift from all those generalized classes to finally learning about speech therapy. Such a tough program, and the teachers treated us more like animals they were training than human beings they were teaching. Discovered the internet!!! Very important!!!

21. Got my undergrad. degree. Began forming close friendships with people I'd met online. Many thought it was weird, but I was SO SHY (from those awful jr high experiences!) that I just couldn't develop close friendships in real life, but once I discovered I could really express my true self in writing, wow! I became a different person, and it eventually carried over into my real life as well. This was the year I became friends with some of YOU reading here today. :)

22. Grad school... what was the big deal about graduation from college? Same types of classes, same nasty professors, same classmates -- the college years just go on... This was the year of the big car accident that I can't believe I survived, let alone came away with nothing but a bruise, but it sure messed up my life financially for awhile, due to those HUGE insurance payments...

23. I began substitute teaching this year as a part time job while finishing up grad school. My first opportunity to stand in front of a classroom since 7th grade! Really, I think I did better as a 12 year old... or maybe it was just that our kids were better behaved!!

24. My first REAL job -- I got a job as a speech therapist in a very rural county an hour from home. I can't believe I commuted every day. But thanks to those aforementioned insurance payments, I really couldn't afford to rent my own place, even if there were a place to rent in this oh so rural area!

25. Bought a house!! An hour away from home, ten minutes from my school. What fun to finally feel "grown up" after all these years. A little later than most, but better late than never. :)

26. Life plugs on. An uneventful year. OH! Except that I became friends with a Katelet. I reckon that's important. ;)

27. Little Girl is born and blesses our lives abundantly!!

28. Switched jobs/schools. I work four blocks from home!! Can WALK to school! LOVE this job, teaching pre-reading skills to K and 1st grade kids. My favorite job ever.

29. Married. Left my job. Left my house. Left my family. Left my friends (except those on the internet -- another perk of having internet friends!!). Left my church. Entire life started over in a new place 3 hours from home... very scary year!!

30. Got out of that wretched apartment and bought our current house. Yay. My own private practice really kicking off now, and boy, do I stay busy!!!

31. Work, work, work, it's all I do, so not a whole lot to say...

32. Ditto. Baby Boy is born -- bringing one good thing into this year.

33. Beginning a new chapter in my life -- can't wait to see what will be written on its pages! Looking good so far!

Little Girl Lies

Little Girl is very honest. She always says exactly what she's done, even when she knows she's going to get in trouble for it. But last week, Little Girl told her first lie.

The book fair was at Little Girl's school last week, and Grandma told Little Girl she would give her money to buy a book every day that she earned a green on her behavior chart. Monday went by... Tuesday... purples for Little Girl. Grandma was getting worried that there would be NO greens, and she really did want Little Girl to be able to buy some books!! But on Wednesday, Little Girl got green! Grandma gave her money, and she picked out two books for herself, and even chose a little book on shapes for Baby Boy. Isn't she sweet. :)

Thursday came and Little Girl got green again and chose another book, but then on Friday, her teacher's note with how her behavior had been all week came. She was on purple (one offense) every day!

"Little Girl!" gasped Grandma. "WHY did you tell me you got green when you didn't!?"

She fully expected Little Girl to say she really wanted a book, but no...

"Because I wanted to make you happy, Grandma."

How about a big awwwww for that? Okay, so we can't excuse her for lying and she still has to be punished, but how sweet that she lied NOT to get a book, but because she was tired of disappointing everybody with all her purples? And I don't think she's being manipulative either, as I said, this was her first lie... :)

And hopefully her last! (Though I know better than that!)

Meet Me at the Fair... With Lots of Money

Saturday, my sister and I took Little Girl to the fair. It wasn't a REAL fair -- not like what I think of when I think of a fair, anyway. No craft booths. No animals. No races or contests. It really was just a carnival. But Little Girl was in the parade Friday night and saw the carnival and wanted desperately to go, and as she had earned five greens since getting her last reward, my sister decided the fair could be her reward.

Two of my sister's friends were supposed to meet her there -- The Fish Murderer with her two-year-old, and another friend who has a nine-year-old.

We arrived at 3:30. My sister had said that she was going to pay $8 to buy Little Girl an armband so she could ride all day, and that we wouldn't have to buy armbands for ourselves because the 9 year old could ride with her. However, when we arrived, it turned out that the 9 year old was at her grandparents' and had not yet come home so would have to join us later on. My sister and I decided to go ahead and get armbands so we could ride with Little Girl.

So we go to the ticket booth. The Fish Friend met us and said that tickets were a dollar each. She had purchased five tickets for her son, and they did not say a WORD to her. She discovered afterward that EVERY ride cost TWO tickets. Now come on, how deceitful is that? How many families bought tickets thinking each ride was costing a dollar and then when their tickets were depleted so quickly, wished they had bought armbands instead? And to not even tell her when she asked for five tickets, KNOWING she had to buy either four or six, as that one odd ticket was going to be no good. That's just rotten.

Turns out armbands were not $8 as the paper had said, but rather $10. Oh, and they expire at 5 pm. From 5-9 pm, you have to buy another armband, and that one costs $15. OKAY.

So my sister calls her friend with the 9 year old to see if perhaps we wanted to go somewhere else and then meet back at the fair at 5, but she couldn't reach her and this friend apparently frequently stands her up, so she wasn't sure what to do.

I then noticed that every single ride at this fair was indicated for those UNDER 50" only, or for those OVER 50" only. In other words, Little Girl who is under 50" could ONLY ride kiddie rides, and her 9 year old friend could ONLY ride big people rides, so they couldn't ride ANYthing together anyway! Nor could my sister and I ride anything with Little Girl. Now how poorly designed is that? What if you're a single parent with two kids, one under and one over? They can't ride anything together, so one has to wait while the other rides, then vice versa. That's awful! And a family can't ride anything together!

And it's not as if the big rides were that major. They were things like bumper cars and the scrambler -- rides that Little Girl has been riding at amusement park for two years now! She could not understand why they wouldn't let her ride them. I told her she wasn't tall enough, and she insisted that yes she is tall enough because she's ridden them lots of times!! "Yes," I said, "But they're mean here and won't let you ride." Well, they are.

So anyway. Since Little Girl and 9 year old can't ride anything together anyway, we decided to go ahead and get the cheaper armband and just let her ride for an hour and a half and go home. Since all she could ride was kiddie rides anyway, we figured she'd have gotten her fill by then anyway.

And then we pass this big inflatable dinosaur "obstacle course" -- the one thing she had spied from the parade the night before that she had talked about before even leaving the house as the thing she most wanted to do. And guess what? No armbands. $2 a pop. My sister forked out the money and in she went. When she came out, guess what? "I want to do it again!"

And then there was the Sky Walker attraction. It looked REALLY cool. You're on a trampoline and get strapped into this seat-like thing attached to long stretchy cords, and you can jump and bounce SOOOO high, and do flips and all sorts of neat things. No armbands accepted, of course. $5 a shot.

And then there was the duck pond. She had to pick a duck after all. Another two bucks, but at least she got a little stuffed animal out of that one.

And then there was the giant slide. No sign on it. We approached, and Little Girl got in line. They let her up and said nothing about money. "WOW," I said. "This thing is actually FREE? I can't believe there is ANYTHING free in this place!" She rode several times and we then realized that we'd better get her moving on to the rides that the armband is needed for and we can come back to the slide after 5. So that's what we did.

At 5, she was turned away from the rides and we returned to the slide. She rode twice more, and on her second ride down, a woman with a little girl approached the man running the slide and asked, "How much is this?" "Uh, three dollars," the man replies.

My sister and I just LOOKED at each other. Why hadn't he charged us? Did he just not care and only made the woman pay because she asked? Was it because Little Girl was so cute?

Alas, when she lined up for a third slide, he looked over at us and said, "Her armband's expired, she can't ride anymore." Thanks a lot, lady.

Thus ended our day at the fair. Or rather, our very expensive two hours at the fair. But Little Girl had fun, and in the end, isn't that all that really matters? :)